Silent Lullabies
by New Decade
Summary: When tragedy strikes and when one of the most precious aspects of life disappears, all they have is each other.


Eureka! I just found something I wrote but never published, hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

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><p>The saying that time heals everything had been one of the most common phrases Eric and Calleigh had heard in the recent months. But Eric was certain this pain had created a scar on his heart and soul so deep that it could never heal and the pain will never cease. Time would only make it more bearable, of course, but as for vanishing entirely, no. The agony he and Calleigh felt would never truly be rid of them, it was a fact they had accepted and a fact they were living with.<p>

Eric blinked his eyes open, squinting as the sunlight rippled into their bedroom and rested on the bed. Calleigh had turned away from the rays, staying undisturbed by them and slept on. Her fist was still clenched, even in sleep, as she clung tightly to the object in hand. Ever since the incident, Calleigh had always had one of their daughter's belongings on her, whether it be a picture, a toy or, in this case, one of the booties Laura had worn when she was a baby.

In the beginning, Calleigh had appeared to be coping extremely well; she had been able to pull herself out of bed after crying herself to sleep the night before. She didn't get angry or deny what happened and, what impressed Eric, was that she allowed herself to grieve and not hold back. This gave herself and Eric the ability to comfort each other as they traveled through hell together. But recently, Calleigh's façade of strength began to crumble. For her, as time went on hope began to fade and she seemed to slip deeper into the abyss. She had stopped crying, barely spoke and seemed to let herself continue in a mechanical fashion.

After the car had hit the five-year-old, Eric had been devastated. He had heard of this type of thing on the news, he saw it at work, but never in his wildest dreams (only in his worse nightmares) did he anticipate this happening to their baby. The feeling of immense pain, sadness and anger he felt after the doctor had talked to them was indescribable. His heart felt as someone had repetitively tearing at it, but it wouldn't kill him, although the suffering should have been equivalent to death.

Despite his cruel anguish, he knew that only one person could feel worse than he did—his wife. Calleigh had been there when it happened. She only relived the story one time aloud, though Eric knew it haunted her dreams (she would mumble and sometimes even cry in her sleep) when the investigation started.

A tearful Calleigh told Horatio at the hospital, Eric at her side, that herself and Laura had been on the street, Laura riding the scooter she had received for her birthday a week before. She had on all the protective gear, but was accelerating and was beginning to travel too fast to be safe. By this point of Calleigh's narration, she was hiccuping after every few words and it was apparent to Horatio she wouldn't be able to continue, despite the tears she was attempting to hold back. He kindly suggested that she write the rest of her statement, to which she automatically agreed. With a shaky hand, Calleigh finished the recollection that stated when Calleigh had called for Laura to slow down, she lost control of her turning at the corner and ended up in the middle of the road, the driver not having time to see her.

Ever since, nothing had been the same and Eric doubted normality would ever return. The golden giggles that used to fill the household when Laura awoke had vanished; the entire house now lacked life and everything that once held meaning had dissolved. Everyday was a blur, even when they returned to work after some time off (they basically had no choice in that matter, bills were piling up), and they were trying to continue with life the best they could.

Only when the alarm sounded did Calleigh begin to stir. Eric automatically reached over to stop the blaring from the clock before she was pulled too much out of her subconscious; it was Sunday and sleeping in was probably going to be the only highlight of her day.

Eric heard Calleigh lightly groan in tiredness as she rolled over to look at him.

"Morning," she whispered, the corners of her mouth twitching into a small smile that disappeared as quickly as it had appeared.

"Morning," he replied, his voice just as dismal as hers. Calleigh moved closer to Eric, molding her body against his as he wrapped a loving arm around her waist.

Another motto they had heard was that normally after tragedy strikes a child, the parents relationship often falls apart as a result; Eric and Calleigh were proud to say they were the exception. They were all they had, the only one they could empathize with was each other and they both knew if they fell apart, then the damages of their lives would intensify.

Calleigh unclenched her hand to see the small bootie resting in her palm. She ran her thumb over the bumblebee stitched on the side of the baby blue fabric. Her eyes misted over and she lightly sniffled before shaking her head to clear it, her hand taking hold on the bootie before holding it against her heart.

Eric kissed her hair and placed a comforting hand on her thigh. Calleigh's lip trembled at his touch and she let a single tear roll down her cheek; the sight of her made Eric's heart collapse in its own sadness. Calleigh seldom awoke with tears in her eyes and just as rarely did she reveal how broken she truly was. She had been this way before they had gone to bed last night after they returned from the hospital, walking without direction around Laura's room. Her hands ran over everything in the room from the untidy bed covers, the stuffed animals, children's books and plastic dinosaurs Laura had spent countless hours entertaining herself with.

They had gone to visit Laura in the hospital every chance they got, had work and visiting hours not been an issue, they probably would have stayed twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. Though they were normally over at her bedside at least two hours everyday, Sundays were their opportunity to spend the majority of the day with Laura, even if she weren't conscious. But no matter how many times they went, the emotional intensity never lessened and the visit yesterday appeared to have taken its toll on Calleigh.

She took a deep breath of air and swallowed it as a way to stable herself, trying to blink away the tears. "When do you want to head out to the hospital?"

"Are you sure you're up to going?" Eric asked, concerned.

"Yeah, of course," she nodded, confidently, her voice a little hoarse. "I'm fine now."

Eric knew better than to disagree and just nodded as Calleigh climbed out of bed. She rubbed the fabric of the bootie between her fingers, letting the pain eclipse her eyes one more time before placing it, almost reluctantly, on her bedside table. She turned on her heel and disappeared into the adjoining bathroom; Eric heard the water of the shower running mere seconds later.

Eric looked over at the tiny shoe that sat beside Calleigh's pager, remembering clearly how that bootie and its twin were on Laura's feet when she took her first steps. Calleigh had assisted when Laura had trouble balancing on her two feet before she began to walk alone in a wobbly fashion towards Eric. Her arms were raised in each side of her small body to keep her balanced and her brown eyes were lit up in excitement as she headed towards her father.

Eric grinned at the memory, but his heart broke at the pain caused just by thinking about his daughter. He vaguely remembered when thinking about these memories brought him joy that wasn't underlined by agony.

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><p>What amazed Eric was how merely watching someone sleep could easily take one's breath from one's lungs. Even through Laura was asleep with a tube under her nose, Eric still marveled at his baby girl. He fondly remembered when he and Calleigh would stand beside her crib when she was a baby and watch her as she explored her dreams. Watching her now may have been painful, given the circumstances, but the only defense mechanism that would give Eric peace of mind was saying this was just Laura sleeping.<p>

He took a seat beside her hospital bed, his eyes glued to the face that held a strong resemblance to her mother's. Laura had inherited Calleigh's complexion, bone structure and her golden hair, albeit the gold darkened with age, a trait of Eric's coming into play. Another of Eric's genes Laura had received had been the one they hadn't had the privilege of seeing as of late, her gorgeous brown eyes, which were currently concealed by a pair of eyelids.

He took her tiny hand in his larger one and giving her forehead a gentle kiss.

"Hey, baby," he whispered, reaching up to smooth her hair back. Calleigh didn't say anything as she sat on the bed to face her daughter. She took her other hand in each of her own and brought them to rest on her lap, Calleigh absentmindedly drawing circles on the back of her daughter's hand.

They more-or-less started their regular routine. They talked to her, though today there hadn't been much to say, due to they had seen her less than twelve hours ago and they fell quiet. But silence was the worst sound they could have heard. Silence meant having to listen to the beeping of the heart monitor and the dripping of the IV. The sounds quickly became unbearable and Eric reached over to the bedside table and picked up one of the children's books they had brought to the hospital when it became apparent that Laura would be there awhile. This particular book had been one Eric's sister had given Laura one Christmas. The slightly bulky book contained three hundred and sixty-five fairy tales, one every day for a year. Eric turned the pages to the appropriated date and began to read the story of _Little Red Riding Hood_. The tale unfolded and the story of the little girl and her nemesis, the wolf, came to life as Eric read from the book, a hint of pain in his voice. Calleigh knew he was missing the same thing she was; these kind of stories weren't the same when Laura wasn't fully with them to experience it. A smile would normally spread across her lips, her interjections and how her face would slip into an adorable pout when the story was over, usually followed by a request for them to read it again.

Eric shut the book as the story ended and placed it back on the table. His eyes fell upon his daughter's face and he felt his already fragile heart shred itself into millions of pieces. He could hardly stand to see her hooked up to the machines with needles and tubes attached to her tiny body.

If this was how Calleigh had been last night and early that morning, Eric could understand why she had been devastated.

Eric exhaled, heavily, and gave his daughter's hand a light squeeze.

"I'm going to find her doctor," Eric whispered, his voice saturated with emotion. Calleigh nodded and Eric took one final look at Laura before walking out of the room.

Calleigh sighed as she watched Laura's unmoving face. Almost hesitantly, she reached out to touch her daughter's beautiful hair, her fingertips lightly trailing from her roots to the end of the strands.

"Daddy and I really miss you," she whispered. "We really want you to come home."

Calleigh's oh-so logical mind knew that talking wouldn't wake Laura up, but her heart always hoped that she would respond to something she said.

She hurriedly racked her brain for something to say.

"Um…the Father/Daughter Dance at school is coming up you and Daddy can probably go," she suggested, her voice slowly growing more emotional with each word. She swallowed before continuing. "You two would have a lot of fun."

Calleigh let the statement sit there, praying that Laura's eyelids would open and a smile would form on her lips. But Laura remained still, like a beautiful, perfectly modeled statue.

Calleigh was starting to believe that she had permanently lost their daughter, that this would be their family from now on. Having to leave the house everyday to see Laura, only being allowed to see her for certain hours a day. Never being able to pick up their daughter again and play with her, never to hear the words "Momma" and "Daddy" escaped her lips. Never to grow up and experience life the way Eric and Calleigh had wanted her to, instead she was trapped to the bed.

This was enough to break Calleigh and tears ran down her face before she could control them. She tried to reach up and wipe them away, but new ones always replaced them until she just gave up. One hand still held Laura's and Calleigh allowed her head to fall into the other as she quietly cried, silent sobs rising in her chest.

Calleigh had been so lost in sorrow and anguish, she didn't even notice when her husband returned. Eric came over to Calleigh and sat behind her, reaching up to give her shoulder a gentle squeeze before pulling her into him. Calleigh rested her head against his chest. Eric held her and stroked her back, hot tears brimming in his own eyes, which he closed to prevent the moisture from escaping.

Calleigh permitted herself to cry into Eric's chest, the pain increasing with each tear that emerged.

"Momma?" a little voice asked. They both froze instantly, certain that they had imagined what they had heard. But when they looked at the little girl in the bed, her eyelashes fluttering open to reveal a pair of beautiful brown eyes. "Why are you crying?"


End file.
